Are You Wise?

Are you wise or intelligent? Both or neither? Or you simply don’t know?

Now, ask yourself another question: "Are you happy?" If your answer is an indisputable "yes," then most probably you are wise and have wisdom in living. If your answer is not definitive, maybe you are intelligent, but not necessarily wise.

First of all, there is a difference between "wisdom" and "knowledge," and hence a distinction between "wise" and "intelligent." Knowledge is information; being intelligent is being knowledgeable. Wisdom, on the other hand, may have more to do with "distilling" and "internalizing" knowledge; in other words, the selection and application of relevant and appropriate information for a specific purpose. Therefore, mere accumulation of knowledge does not necessarily enhance wisdom, nor make an individual wiser for that matter. Wisdom in living is the art of living well. To live well, you must cherish and nourish that wisdom. 

Unfortunately, how to live one's life is never formally taught in school. If you are lucky, your parents might have given you some advice or their living examples might have shed some light on how you should live your own life. Most of us simply follow our instincts; or, worse, drift along, letting the turnout of events in our lives guide us along the way. But that is not true wisdom in living. True wisdom is the efficient use of the mind to get what one wants in life.

Does wisdom in living have a blueprint? Unfortunately, not! The reason is that every individual's life is uniquely his or hers; as such, there is no blueprint for living. Remember, nobody can live your life for you, because it is your life, and you must live it the way you choose. But you may want to know "how" to choose, and "what" affects your choice, or, more specifically, how your mind works. 

Wisdom in the art of living well is about understanding that in life you have a choice. As a matter of fact, life is all about choices. But what determines your choices? Your life choices are based on your life experiences. In other words, all your past and present experiences play a pivotal role in how you are going to live the rest of your life. Wisdom in living is the capability of the mind to discern your perceptions and how they process those experiences. No two individuals have the same perception of the same experience; it is always the half-glass-empty or the half-glass-full to a greater or lesser degree. Given the critical importance of mental perceptions in determining life choices, one of the essentials of wisdom in living is mind power--the ability of the mind to control its thinking process and hence its thoughts. Remember, you are the sum of your thoughts, and your thoughts become who you are and what you choose. In other words, your thoughts become the raw materials with which you fabricate your life, that is, creating your own masterpiece.

Mind Secrets Exposed: Learn the art of getting what you want out of life. If you find yourself facing constant frustration from never-ending problems in life, or you feel as though your life is a proverbial treadmill, not going anywhere. Now is the time to take charge of your life. It is all in your subconscious mind that is the real power center of your being and the "headquarters" of your body. Use state-of-the-art subliminal messages to transform your subconscious mind in order to change your conscious mind.

Also, visit my website: Wisdom in Living.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Meanings of Death

The Meanings of Death

Death is a domain of the old: the elderly are often preoccupied with attitudes about death, and the inevitability of death. According to studies, the majority of the elderly wish to extend life for as long as possible, irrespective of their death anxiety level.

The Implications of Death

Life is a task-master: it teaches you how to survive. Death is also a leveler-of-man: it teaches you how to live. To appreciate life, you must come to grips with the reality of death, and, more importantly, with God.

Death Attitudes

For some people, due to the inevitability of death, they simply choose not to think about it in order to remain happy.

For others, in the imminence of death, there is often denial, which will gradually give way as aging continues until dying becomes more of a personal reality than an abstract fate.

Death Anxiety

Death anxiety is fear of death. It is fear of the pain of dying, fear of separation from loved ones, and fear of the unknown.

The level of death anxiety is determined by the following factors: projected inability to fulfill certain goals in the past (often accompanied by regret); perceived inability to accomplish certain goals in the future (work undone, relationship and business unfinished, or lifelong dreams unrealized); interpretation of the meaning of death, such as life after death, or death as an escape from pain and misery.

But, irrespective of the level, death anxiety is unhealthy, because it robs you of the joys of living in the present moment; if you are afraid to die, you may also be afraid to live—and thus depriving yourself of successful aging.

Coping with Death

Death is inevitable. Spiritual wisdom shows how one can cope with death or the imminence of death.

Positive meanings of life and death

Positive meanings of life and death provide one with the motivation to go on living, and therefore adopting a healthy lifestyle in the latter part of one's life.

Positive meanings of life and death also enable one to embrace an attitude of acceptance of the inevitability of death, and thus instrumental in making the most out of the rest of one’s life to live well and to die well.

Positive meanings of life and death are effective coping mechanisms to deal with death and dying.

Decreasing focus on self

Decrease your focus on your life accomplishments, especially your contributions to society and mankind.

Accept the inevitability of human mortality. In other words, let go of fame and fortune, and all material attachments in life, especially the ego-self.

Stephen Lau

Copyright©2018 by Stephen Lau

How to Overcome Mental Depression

Man is inherently desirous of happiness. We all want to become happy; without happiness, human existence may have become meaningless. Therefore, we all want to avoid unhappiness, and this self-defense mechanism may then develop into addictive habit patterns that have ultimately become some of the characteristics of our individual personality, affecting how we think. In other words, to avoid unhappiness, we may subconsciously begin to “lose contact with our realities” and thus become the persons we are not supposed to be.

Depression is a mental struggle against unhappiness that an individual wishes to avoid, and in the process becomes a different person—a person with ever-changing moods and temperaments.

To illustrate, a baby or toddler—even well-fed, dry, and comfortable—may cry because he or she wants happiness, which is not being separated from the parents; crying or screaming is the only self-defense mechanism against being separated and feeling unhappy. As that baby or toddler continues to grow, that normal child will ultimately learn the reality that to be separated from the parents is just a normal and necessary part and parcel of life and maturity.

However, the mental and emotional growth and maturity of that same child may not be consistent with his or her physical growth and mental maturity, and this inconsistency or disparity may subsequently lead to many mental and emotional problems later in life, such as recklessly driving a car, engaging promiscuously in sex, taking drugs or addicting to alcohol. If the mental and emotional problems are not properly and fully addressed and resolved, that same adolescent turning into a young adult may continue to develop more problems, such as compulsive gambling or shopping sprees. 

As that same individual continues to grow and mature, there may be many other problems that crop up along his or her life journey, including problems in career, marriage, family, health, money, and among many others. All these life problems and challenges may continue to create more behavioral patterns, which are only the manifestations of that individual’s desperate struggle against the unhappiness associated with emotional, mental, and physical problems; they are just the self-defense addictive behaviors of that individual striving desperately to overcome depression. In other words, that individual simply wants to avoid the unhappiness resulting from the many life problems and challenges encountered and unresolved. 

   

My Way! No Way! TAO Is The Way!

TAO Wisdom To Live And Survive In A World Of Depression!

TAO wisdom is the way to go through depression—experiencing every aspect of depression, instead of avoiding it with distractions or drugs—and thus the only Way to get you out of depression while living in a world of depression.

It provides many examples from news and everyday life to show you  how TAO wisdom can help you live as if everything is a miracle.

Don’t deny or stigmatize your depression! Go through it, and you may or may not get enlightened, but you will look at your depression differently.

To get your digital copy, click here; to get your paperback copy, click here. 

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Conscious and the Subconscious Mind

The Conscious and the Subconscious Mind

“Our thoughts are mainly controlled by our subconscious, which is largely formed before the age of 6, and you cannot change the subconscious mind by just thinking about it. That's why the power of positive thinking will not work for most people. The subconscious mind is like a tape player. Until you change the tape, it will not change.”  Bruce Lipton

We all have both a conscious and a subconscious mind. Simply put, your conscious mind does all the active thinking: selectively recording whatever data and information you want to remember and reserve them for future use, while discarding whatever you consciously think is irrelevant or inapplicable to you in the future. Your subconscious mind, on the other hand, absorbs everything indiscriminately that you are exposed to, and stores it at the back of your mind in the form of emotions, feelings, and memories.

Originally, your mind is like that of a baby, which is a blank sheet of paper. Your thinking begins with your five senses—how they perceive and interpret your own life experiences. Then all these emotional, mental, and physical sensations become your thoughts or memories stored at the back of your subconscious mind. So, whenever you experience a similar sensation, your conscious mind will automatically go back to your subconscious mind to look for more clues, relevant information, or guidelines, and send out different messages back to your conscious mind, instructing it to act or react accordingly. As an illustration, a baby, who previously experienced a pleasantly tickling sensation, will begin to giggle, feeling pleased, when being tickled again, as soon as the subconscious mind sends to the conscious mind the message of that pleasant sensation previously experienced. 

Essentially, while your conscious mind is just about to make all your everyday life choices and decisions, your subconscious mind is, in fact, controlling and directing your conscious mind from behind the scene without letting you know; that is why it is called a “subconscious“ mind.

Gradually and accumulatively, all your life experiences with their own respective messages—the pleasant as well as the unpleasant, the positive as well as the negative—are all stored at the back of your subconscious mind in the form of data and memories. Over the long haul, millions and billions of such experiences and messages have become the raw materials with which you subconsciously weave the fabrics of your life, making you who and what you have now become—or so you think. In other words, they have now become your so-called “realities.”

But they are not your realities. The truth of the matter is that they are no more than your own thinking, controlled and dominated by your own subconscious mind. To illustrate, say, your conscious mind tells you to eat a healthy meal, but your subconscious mind—loaded with the images and messages of many TV commercials of mouth-watering junk food, as well as your own past delectable experiences of some of them—may tell you something totally different, and you may end up eating a burger and French fries.

Stephen Lau        

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

See Things As They Are

THE WISDOM OF SEEING THINGS AS THEY ARE

Reflect on your current state of being, and see others as the same. They are not better nor worse than you are, but just different in their own ways. There is no basis for you to be angry with them, or to be envious of them. There is no rhyme or reason for you to dwell on “what could have” or “what should have”—they only prey on your mind, preventing you from being a better and happier you.

To be a better and happier you, follow the behaviors of the ancient masters and sages.

“The ancient masters were

subtle, mysterious, profound, responsive.
The depth of their knowledge is unfathomable.
Because it is unfathomable,
All we can do is to describe their appearance.
Watchful, like men crossing a winter stream.
Alert, like men aware of danger.
Courteous, like visiting guests.
Yielding, like ice about to melt.
Simple, like uncarved blocks of wood.
Hollow, like caves.
Opaque, like muddy pools.
Who can wait quietly while the mud settles?
Who can remain still until the moment of action?
Observers of the Tao do not seek fulfillment.
Not seeking fulfillment,

they are not swayed by desire for change.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 15)

“Be watchful: be aware of living in the present moment.

Be alert: be mindful of self and others; be perceptive of the whole picture so as to see the reality of anything and everything.

Be courteous: be loving of self, and be compassionate to others.

Be yielding: be ready and willing to embrace what life has to offer—including life challenges and difficulties.

Be simple: be simple in your needs and wants; simplicity leads to non-attachment.

Be hollow: be open-minded and receptive to new ideas.

Be opaque: Be patient, letting go of anything and every-thing, and allowing nature to run its course because the way of nature is unchanging.

Based on the above, just about anyone who has an empty mind can attain the profound wisdom of Lao Tzu to become a better and happier individual.

Knowing your true self

is the pathway to enlightenment.

Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing self is enlightenment.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 33)

As long as you know your real self and others, you can and will become a better and happier you.

There is an old Latin axiom: “nemo dat quod non habet” —meaning, one cannot give what one does not have.  If you don’t have the wisdom to know your real self, you won’t have the wisdom to understand others, especially who they are and what they need. In order to understand others, you must first and foremost have the wisdom attained through asking self-intuitive questions throughout your life. Then, with mindfulness, you observe with a nonjudgmental mind what is happening to you, as well as around you. Gradually, you will be able to see things as what they really are, and not as what they may seem to you: anything and everything in life follows its own natural cycle, just as the day becomes night, and the night transformed into dawn.

With that wisdom, you may become enlightened, which means you begin to know your true self—what you have and what you don’t have, and you were created to be who you are, and not what you wish you were or want to become. Knowing what you have, you can then give it to others. It is the giving, rather than the receiving, that makes you a better and a happier you.

Stephen Lau        

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

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The Role of the Thinking Mind

Life is always a discovery process. It is a journey of self-discovery—finding who you are, why you are here, what you need, and how you meet your needs, so that you, like everybody else, can fulfill some of your life goals and purposes that are exclusively designed for you.

To live a purposeful life, you need a healthy body and mind, guided by a healthy soul, in order to continue that life journey as if everything is a miracle. They are all important, and are inter-related. But you must begin with the mind first.

The role of the thinking mind

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” --George Bernard Shaw

Your mind is your being, and your brain is the most important of all your body organs because it controls your whole being. How you think, what you do, how you act or react, and what you do with all your life experiences—they ultimately become not only your memories but also your realities.

Descartes, the famous French philosopher, once said: “I think, therefore I am.” Indeed, your thoughts become what and who you “think” you are now.

Therefore, it is your thinking that holds the key to attaining wisdom. True wisdom is not the same as extensive knowledge: a wise person is not necessarily knowledgeable; by the same token, a very knowledgeable person may not necessarily be wise. Wisdom is the capability of the mind to intuit knowledge and experience, and then apply that self-intuition to everyday living to live as if everything is a miracle.

Important as it is, thinking is not easy, just as Albert Einstein said: “Thinking is difficult; that is why so few people do it.” Difficult as it may be, learn how to think, or rethink your mind, especially if yours is a toxic mind. Only by rethinking your mind can you get rid of its toxic thoughts to begin the right thinking process, which brings wisdom and the miracle of life and living.

Thinking is a process of self-intuition through asking relevant questions to create self-awareness and self-introspection. Your questions may trigger a set of mental answers that lead to your actions or inactions, based on the choices you make from the answers you have obtained from the questions asked. It is the natural habit of the human mind to try to solve problems. By solving problems, the mind can then make things happen. Asking questions is self-empowering wisdom.

 Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau