Holistic
wellness of the body, the mind, and the soul has much to do with happiness, which has its origin from personality
development over the years.
Sometimes
we wonder why some people are always happy while others are always unhappy.
Just as Leo Tolstoy, the famous
Russian author, said in the beginning of his novel Anna Karenina: “Happy
families are alike; unhappy families are unhappy in their own ways.”
Indeed,
your happiness has much to do with your personality development over your life.
In other words, your own life experiences and your perceptions of those
experiences not only define and shape your personality but also are uniquely
yours. Therefore, it is impossible to say why some people are happy, and why
others are unhappy.
Mental happiness and body wellness are
interrelated. If you are happy, your body will even heal faster. It’s just that
simple.
But
happiness is not easy to come by, especially when your mind is not prepared to
receive it. The mind needs wisdom to create happiness thoughts to stimulate the
brain cells to produce chemicals that make one happy. Genuine human happiness
comes from human thoughts that are the components of human personality.
Therefore, understanding personality
development may throw some light on why you are happy or unhappy.
But
understanding personality development may throw some light on why you are happy
or unhappy most of the time.
According to the famous
psychologist Erik Erikson, your
personality has evolved through several decades of changes and experiences,
resulting in who and what you have now become. Therefore, profound wisdom is to
understand how those changes in your
life have occurred and shaped your personality, and how adapting yourself to those changes now may still benefit you in
the long run. According to Erik Erikson, there are eight life stages. through
which we may have gone through to become who and what we are right now. These
eight psychosocial development stages are as follows:
Trust and Mistrust
In this first stage, from birth to age one, we
may experience and develop trust or
mistrust that affects how we feel
about the benevolence of the world around us.
Do you always have low trust or mistrust in others?
Independence and Doubt
In the toddler stage, we
begin to develop our self-trust, which
leads to independence. With self-trust, we begin to learn how to walk. In this
stage, however, we may also develop self-doubt that leads to shame later in
life. This may be the underlying cause of failing to take risks in later life,
missing some golden opportunities to improve our lives, and thus making us feel
unhappy and unfulfilled.
Are you always self-confident?
Creativity and Guilt
In preschool years, we begin
to exercise our minds to acquire initiative and express creativity. The
capability to express freely our
initiative and creativity helps us develop the playful and positive side of our
nature. Under restraint, on the other hand, we may develop guilt, lack of
self-confidence, and inability to get close to others.
Are you always creative and imaginative?
Industry and Inferiority
From age five to eleven, we
experience fulfillment in accomplishment or disappointment in failure. This is
often a result of acquiring our society’s work ethics. We begin to believe in
our abilities and feel motivated to work hard. On the other hand, if we become
lazy, we develop poor work habits that may adversely affect our careers later
in life.
Are you always puttering from one job to another, always
procrastinating and never meeting deadlines?
Identity and Diffusion
In adolescent, we begin to
explore ourselves, finding out who we are and what we want out of life. We may
channel our energy into a field we love, and derive pleasure from seeing what
we have accomplished. This growth in our sense of self determines whether or
not we have an “identity crisis.”
Are you always in search for a purpose in life?
Intimacy and Withdrawal
In early adulthood, we
develop intimacy, which is a quality of an individual, and not the couple. The
ability to develop and maintain a long-term relationship is an asset. However,
many of us may experience difficulty in achieving closeness with others, or
even maintaining a long-lasting relationship, resulting in inner loneliness
that causes us to doubt even our own remarkable accomplishments in life.
Is your life worthwhile when it comes to relationships?
Compassion and Selfishness
In middle age, we become
more connected to future generations, as evidenced by being parents, mentors,
and supervisors. However, we may also become self-focusing, alienating ourselves
from the next generation, and thus creating the “generation gap.”
Do you spend much time focusing on your own needs, instead of
those of others?
Ego and Despair
In old age, by letting go of
the ego, we accept both our successes and failures, and thus have a healthy
perspective on life. However, we may also look back at our own past experiences
and the world in general with disdain and regret, and thus we become despaired
and unhappy.
Do you think you already have a fulfilled life?
If you wish to be a happier
individual, learn to let go of all your attachments, which are the sources of human unhappiness. Human
wisdom may not be adequate to help you let go of your attachments in the
physical world; you also need spiritual wisdom With the spiritual wisdom from
the Bible, you may be able to overcome the reluctance to let go of your
attachments. Let go to let God in order to live your life as
if everything is a miracle.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© 2018 by Stephen Lau
