Are you happy or unhappy? If
you are not happy, then why not?
Why is happiness important? It plays a pivotal part in
the art of living well? The
mind plays a critical role in shaping your personality, which is responsible
for your happiness or unhappiness. In other words, your personality is all your
own thinking, just as Descartes, the
famous French philosopher, once said: “I think; therefore I am.”
Erik Erikson, the
famous psychologist, also stated that the evolution of our personality is
affected by different life stages of changes and experiences we have gone
through, resulting in who and what we have now become. Understanding those life
stages may help us understand how we have become happy or unhappy.
Trust and Mistrust
In this first stage, from birth to age
one, we may experience and develop trust
or mistrust that affects how we feel
about the benevolence of the world around us.
Independence and Doubt
In the toddler stage, we begin to
develop our self-trust, which leads to
independence. With self-trust, we begin to learn how to walk. In this stage,
however, we may also develop self-doubt that leads to shame later in life. This
may be the underlying cause of failing to take risks in later life, missing
some golden opportunities to improve our lives, and thus making us feel unhappy
and unfulfilled.
Creativity and Guilt
In preschool years, we begin to exercise
our minds to acquire initiative and express creativity. The capability to
express freely our initiative and
creativity helps us develop the playful and positive side of our nature. Under
restraint, on the other hand, we may develop guilt, lack of self-confidence,
and inability to get close to others.
Industry and Inferiority
From age five to eleven, we experience
fulfillment in accomplishment or disappointment in failure. This is often a
result of acquiring our society’s work ethics. We begin to believe in our
abilities and feel motivated to work hard. On the other hand, if we become
lazy, we develop poor work habits that may adversely affect our careers later
in life.
Identity and Diffusion
In adolescent, we begin to explore
ourselves, finding out who we are and what we want out of life. We may channel
our energy into a field we love, and derive pleasure from seeing what we have
accomplished. This growth in our sense of self determines whether or not we
have an “identity crisis.”
Intimacy and Withdrawal
In early adulthood, we develop intimacy,
which is a quality of an individual, and not the couple. The ability to develop
and maintain a long-term relationship is an asset. However, many of us may
experience difficulty in achieving closeness with others, or even maintaining a
long-lasting relationship, resulting in inner loneliness that causes us to
doubt even our own remarkable accomplishments in life.
Compassion and Selfishness
In middle age, we become more connected
to future generations, as evidenced by being parents, mentors, and supervisors.
However, we may also become self-focusing, alienating ourselves from the next
generation, and thus creating the “generation gap.”
Ego and Despair
In old age, by letting go of the ego, we
accept both our successes and failures, and thus have a healthy perspective on
life. However, we may also look back at our own past experiences and the world
in general with disdain and regret, and thus we become despaired and unhappy.
Remember, nothing is set in stone. Even if you have
formed your own personality over the years, you can still change it to make you
become a better and happier person if you have the wisdom and the know-how.
Also, visit my new website: Health and Wisdom Tips.
Also, visit my new website: Health and Wisdom Tips.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by
Stephen Lau
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