The downside
of longevity is that you may have to cope with many negative emotions, such as grief, pain, and sorrow, among others. The only way to deal with them is acceptance. Everything has to follow a natural cycle, such as the cycle of the four seasons, what goes up must also come down, and life is inevitably followed by death. We just have to accept the reality of life.
Life is not easy, and living is complicated. Life is never a bed
of roses. Even if it is, there are thorns, which often come in the form of grief,
pain, and sorrow. Given that everything is this world is impermanent, grief,
pain, and sorrow are as inevitable as death. If you live long enough,
many of your loved ones may go ahead of you. Depression often accompanies
grief, pain, and sorrow, but don’t let them get in your way, making you live the
rest of your life as if nothing is a miracle.
Depression is as powerful a risk factor for heart disease as
diabetes and smoking, according to a study by Dr. Amit Shah, a
cardiologist at Emory University in Atlanta.
Dr. Shah believes that there is a biological reason as to why
depression harms, especially devastating to young females’ hearts. According to
Dr. Shah, mechanisms underlying the association of depression and heart disease
could be inflammation or hormonal regulation.
“When people get depressed, they stop taking care of themselves.
And when they stop taking care of themselves, they get sick," said Dr.
Suzanne Steinbaum, a spokesperson for the American Heart Association, who
was not involved in the study.
On the other hand, when sick people don’t take care of
themselves, they can also become depressed.
There are, of course, many factors that contribute to
depression. But the major cause of depression is grief, pain, and sorrow due to
loss, especially bereavement of loved ones. Unfortunately, that is something as
inevitable as death, especially as one continues to advance in age. If you live
to eighty or ninety years old, your friends or loved ones may go ahead of
you—this is the reality, and you must learn to accept it, whether you like it
or not.
After the death of a dear friend or someone close to you, you
may experience a period of denial—refusing
to accept the harsh reality of death. Then anger comes: anger with yourself or whoever responsible for the
death of your loved one. If you blame yourself, then guilt and regret may
ensue; if you blame others, anger or hatred is generated. After the initial
denial, reality begins to sink in. You start to feel the bereavement, driving
you into deep depression with
emotions of fear, grief, regret, sadness, and sorrow. This is the darkest or
even the longest stage of grief, pain, and sorrow.
The only way of the darkness of depression is acceptance.
Sooner or later, you will come to terms with the death of your loved one
when you ultimately become aware that everything is going to be OK, that you
will survive the loss of your loved one, and that comfort will begin to set in.
In the end, you will realize that life will go on even though it may be
different without your loved one.
Stephen
Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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