Emotions and Happiness

Your mind is the generator of your emotions because it perceives, interprets, generalizes your thoughts, which then become your assumptions that affect how you act or react in the physical world. Your mind affects your body; as a matter of fact, there is a close connection between the body and the mind.     

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), human emotions are the major underlying causes of disease because Chinese physicians believe that certain body organs are related to emotional activities; for example, the heart is related to joy, the liver to anger, the spleen to obsessive thoughts, the lungs to anxiety, and the kidneys to fear. Therefore, excessive emotions disrupt the free flow of qi, the life-giving energy that flows through the body, and thus causing imbalance and disharmony that may lead to disease and disorder.   

In addition, human behaviors—often a byproduct of human emotions—affect the mind, just as emotions of the mind affect the body. According to a study at Ohio State University in 2003, physical behavior, such as enhanced body language of nodding in agreement or shaking head in disagreement, may significantly affect how we think without our knowing it. According to that study, even posture, such as sitting up straight, may be conducive to remembering positive memories or thinking positively, because posture changes the production of human hormones.   

The interconnection between the body and the mind is further evidenced by the indisputable notion that a healthy heart produces a healthy brain by pumping sufficient oxygen and nutrients to nourish the brain through its bloodstream.   

As If Everything Is A Miracle   

This 125-page book is about how to live your life as if everything is a miracle, instead of as if nothing is a miracle. To do just that, you need wisdom to "rethink" your mind, which may not be telling you the whole truth about your thoughts and life experiences; you need wisdom to "renew" your body, which lives in a toxic physical environment; you need spiritual wisdom to "reconnect" your soul, which is the essence of your spirituality. Most importantly, you need wisdom to "realign" your whole being because the body, the mind, and the soul are all interconnected and interdependent on one another for your well-being to live your life as if everything is a miracle. Your mind is the roadmap and your soul is the compass; without them, your body is going nowhere, and you will live your life as if nothing is a miracle.   

With enlightenment, you will become a better, happier, and healthier you. With enlightenment, you will live a stress-fee life. Learn how to overcome your stress by letting go your ego-self. No Ego No Stress!  

Stephen Lau 

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

What Are the Causes of Depression?

Despair and despondency

Feeling trapped in a dire situation or circumstance with no foreseeable exit only distresses the mind. It could be any situation or circumstance, such as getting an unwanted pregnancy, having several children early in a marriage saddled with many financial burdens but with no vocational skill, being stuck in a bad love relationship with no way out, and many other despairing and despondent situations.

Adversity and loss

Adversity and loss are inevitable in life. Adversity may come in many different forms, such as accidents, injuries, and diseases; while loss can be physical loss, such as loss of mobility, material loss, such as loss of a home due to foreclosure, mental loss, such as loss of memory, spousal loss, such as separation or bereavement, and spiritual loss, such as loss of life purpose and meaningful existence in life.

Inactivity and lack of goals

An inactive individual is more vulnerable to depression, because that individual spends most of his or her time drifting about and doing nothing in particular. By the same token, an individual lacking life goals ceases to struggle in life—that may explain why depression is more frequent among the senior and the elderly. Man is basically a goal-seeking creature. Therefore, after reaching one goal, an individual should set another higher goal in order to avoid the feeling of being letdown after the achievement of the goal, and thus setting off a depression.

The bottom line: never stay in a mental vacuum; always keep yourself mentally and physically busy and engaged, with something to look forward to. Remember, happy people always have strong goals, which have little to do with money, according to Earl Nightingale, an American author and motivational speaker.

Regret and self-pity

A depressed individual often looks back at the past with anger and bitterness, accompanied by regret and self-pity. "What if" and "I wish it were" are always on the mind of that depressed individual, wishing things were different. Regret and self-pity always go hand in hand with that depressed individual.

Biological malfunction and chemical imbalance

Of course, with the advancement of modern medicine, medical authorities have now attributed many cases of depression to biological malfunction, such as an abnormal thyroid, or imbalance of certain brain chemicals. However, it should be pointed out that it is difficult to determine whether it is the thinking mind or the chemical imbalance that actually causes the biological malfunctioning. The explanation is that an individual's own negative or self-destructive thinking patterns may also ultimately lead to the chemical and hormonal imbalance in that individual.

Therefore, we should always look at the whole picture, and not just a part of it; after all, depression is a complex and complicated disease of the mind, and we are also living in a world of depression.

MY WAY! NO WAY! TAO IS THE WAY!

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

An Empty Mind

The TAO is the wisdom of the ancient Chinese sage Lao Tzu. True wisdom is absolute truth that can withstand time; what was true in the past is also true today. To fathom the TAO, you must begin with your own mind, which controls your thinking process and hence creating your own thoughts of thinking.

The TAO begins with having an empty mind, which is more than just “thinking out of the box”: it is also reverse thinking to create your own box of thinking. An empty mindset originated from Lao Tzu:

“An empty mind with no craving and no expectation helps us let go.

Being in the world and not of the world, we attain heavenly grace.

With heavenly grace, we become pure and selfless.

And everything settles into its own perfect place.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 3) 

Without an empty mind, an individual may think that he or she is already knowledgeable, and therefore lacks the desire to seek more knowledge by asking more questions, and thus ending up being less knowledgeable.

Reverse thinking is turning your mind around: instead of accepting or following what your mind says, you think in the opposite direction by asking self-probing questions of how and why your mind has come to give you that thought of thinking in the first place.

Simplicity is the first step toward detachment, which holds the key to unlocking the door to an empty mind with reverse thinking. Live a simple lifestyle, deleting all the trimmings of life and living that may block and obstruct your thinking mind. Letting go of everything that you may erroneously believe are important to you in your life is reverse thinking.

“Simplicity is clarity.

It is a blessing to learn from those

with humble simplicity.

Those with an empty mind

will learn how to find the Way.

The Way reveals the secrets of the universe:

the mysteries of the realm of creation;

the manifestations of all things created.

The essence of the Way is to show us

how to live in fullness and return to our origin.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 65)

 THE TAO OF LIVING FOR LIFE

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Always Be Grateful

Reconnect your soul or spirit to gratitude. If you are grateful to the Creator for what you have, you may look at the behavior of another individual with more tolerance, or even with a totally different perspective.

Blessings in life, such as the gift of life, are generally overlooked or even taken for granted. For example, if someone takes advantage of you, do not become angry immediately; instead, be grateful that you are the victim instead of being the person who victimizes others.

Gratitude enables you to develop the mindset for a positive outlook toward your soul. Smile more often. Keep complaints about people, things, and life in general only to yourself—unless voicing them will help bring about positive changes in others or in society.

Gratitude helps you see the good in others, letting you give them the benefit of the doubt. Try to remember that all people are created in the image of God. Focus on the individual as a person, rather than on the behavior or belief of that individual, which may not be appealing or pleasing to you.

Always be grateful that you have been given the opportunity to become either a teacher or a student in whatever circumstance you may find yourself in, and turn it into a miracle of life.

An illustration

At the end of 2007, John Kralik, an attorney who owned a law firm, experienced debts and disasters in both his life and career.

One day, after a walk in the mountains, Kralik became enlightened: as his 2008 New Year’s resolution, he decided to write a thank-you note a day for the rest of the year to everyone he knew.

Kralik’s  2008 “gratitude project”  had changed  his life completely. Instead of his feeling of discontent regarding his lack, and his envy of those who had what he did not have, he had learned to be grateful for his law firm, his practice, his friends, and his family, despite the many disasters and drawbacks he had previously experienced. Kralik’s gratitude began to change every aspect of his life. His relationships with his family, his friends, and his staff improved significantly; his law firm avoided bankruptcy, and turned around completely.

Gratitude is something that you get more only by giving it away more. Expression of gratitude generates happiness that overcomes the unhappy feelings of lack.

Are you grateful for what you have, and not getting what you rightly deserve? Even being diagnosed with myasthenia gravis may be a life lesson for you -- you can always learn something from your disease.

THE TAO OF LIVING FOR LIFE

AS IF EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Can Money Make You Happy?

Tao Wisdom and Money

Money does not bring happiness.  

As an illustration, Barbara Woolworth Hutton was one of the wealthiest women in the world. She endured a childhood marked by the early loss of her mother at age five and the neglect of her father, setting the stage for a life of difficulty forming relationships. Married and divorced seven times, she acquired grand foreign titles but was maliciously treated and often exploited by several of her husbands. While publicly she was much envied for her possessions, her beauty and her apparent life of leisure, privately she remained deeply insecure, often taking refuge in drink, drugs, and playboys.

Her son died in a plane crash in 1972, at the age of 36, leaving her devastated. Dying of a heart attack at age 66, at her death, the formerly wealthy Hutton was on the verge of bankruptcy as a result of exploitation, as well as her compulsive generosity and spendthrift ways.

What does TAO wisdom say about money?

According to TAO, money is neither positive nor negative; it is all in the human mind.

But how you make your money and how you spend your money may turn money into something either positive or negative.

To increase your wealth in a positive way, focus on doing what needs to be done, and no more. On the other hand, the more you do to make money, the less focused you become, and the greater are your expectations of the outcome. That may ultimately create not only undue stress but also internal disharmony in your life, turning money into something negative.

Increasing your wealth, however, does not necessarily mean spending your money proportionately. That is to say, an individual making more money does not have to buy a much bigger house than what that individual actually needs. To illustrate, Warren Buffet, the billionaire, has set an excellent example: he is still living in his $31,500 home he bought some decades ago.

Another classic example is Ann Russell Miller, a celebrated socialite from San Francisco, also known as Sister Mary Joseph, She, who had ten children and nineteen grandchildren, had grown up in luxury and privilege, and had been living a life of incredible wealth. Instead of shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue she used to do for decades—she suddenly decided to give up everything, and became a nun devoted to living in poverty for the rest of her life. That unbelievable event happened more than two decades ago: one day she held a celebrity party in which she announced her incredible decision, and her announcement was widely reported in the media across the United States. Why did she make such an incredible decision to drastically change her lifestyle? She said she her had a calling, a true vocation that was hard to understand for the general public, and even for the close members of her family.

Excessively increasing one’s wants often leads to unduly inflating one’s ego as well, and thus creating many negative attachments that are often packed in one’s own bag and baggage.

NO EGO NO STRESS

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Mind Wellness Wisdom

The mind plays a pivotal role in wellness wisdom of the body, the mind, and the soul; as a matter of fact, it balances and connects the body and soul. To enhance you mind wellness wisdom, you need a reverse mindset.

What is reverse mindset? And why is it essential to human wisdom?

Lao Tzu, the author of Tao Te Ching, an ancient Chinese classic on human wisdom, advocated reverse mindset for human wisdom. His wisdom was profound, and his Tao Te Ching has become one of the most translated and extensively read books in world literature.

Descartes, the great philosopher, once said: "I think, therefore I am." Indeed, human wisdom comes from the mind—that is, how we think, because our thoughts determine who we are and what we do. Wisdom has to do with mental perceptions of what we experience, as well as with our interpretations of those perceptions.

But our thoughts may deceive us; that is, they may mislead us and do not tell us the absolute truths. Therefore, true human wisdom is the capability to separate the truths from the half-truths or the myths. To see through the deception or illusion created by our minds, we need wisdom or clarity of mind. According to Lao Tzu:

"We need a still and composed mind

to see things with greater clarity.

Because trouble begins in the mind."

Lance Armstrong, the dishonored athlete, is a classic example of having the wrong mindset of success is due to effort. Armstrong , as an aspiring athlete, created an ego-self that craved for satisfaction. To meet his own expectations as well as those of others, including his coach, he manipulated the doping program in order to excel and surpass others. He got what he wanted through "over-doing" but with an ultimate price -- losing everything, including what he thought he had gained. Armstrong's mindset is a conventional one for success: "over-doing" or "do more and get more" Mind wellness wisdom is to reverse that mindset.

The unconventional wisdom, according to Lao Tzu, is to have no separate-self. With no ego, you have no expectations; you do what you need to do, without undue efforts, you live in the present, enjoying every moment of it while you wait patiently for things to turn out naturally or the way they are supposed to. Without over-doing, everything will settle into its perfect place. That is the wisdom of "under-doing" -- or mind wellness wisdom mindset.

For more information, visit my website: Wisdom in Living.

THE TAO OF LIVING FOR LIFE

Stephen Lau 

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Improve Your Memory

If you think you cannot remember dates of appointments, special events and occasions, such as birthdays, where you have put your keys, the names of people you have just been introduced to, you may think you have a bad memory, or, worse, the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In truth, you may "think" you have a bad memory; it is just your mental perception. Epictetus, the famous Greek philosopher once said: "People are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them." In other words, it is just your perception of your bad memory that is bothering you.

Why do you hold this belief? It is because you are comparing the conditions of your present memory with those in the past. Has your memory really gone from bad to worse? Can it be just your subjective perception rather than a factual or scientific validation of your memory decline? More importantly, you have added more years to your life, and therefore you have more data stored in your memory, and that may explain some of your problems in retrieving the extra information stored.

Believing you have bad memory will not help your memory loss. Quite the contrary, such a belief may only add insult to injury by creating undue stress that inhibits good memory.

The process of your memory involves encoding, which is turning information you wish to remember into some sort of a code to be stored in your brain for future retrieval, Bad memory is your inability to retrieve at will the information stored in your brain. Your inability to retrieve the information is often due to your anxiety. In other words, the more you are anxious about your bad memory, the more difficult it is for you to retrieve the desired information.

The bottom line: don't even think you have a bad memory; relax your mind through diaphragm breathing and meditation to increase your mind power; most importantly, learn the techniques to improve your memory.

UNLIMITED MEMORY

Stephen Lau 

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Healthy Mind for Healthy Longevity

It is important to develop a sense of purpose and future-oriented goals to help you along your life journey as you continue to age. To meet the challenges of aging, you need a healthy mind for your longevity living. 

How to Help Your Mind Help You 

If, unfortunately, you have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease or cancer, you may need help. More specifically, you need to help your mind help you. First and foremost, healing from any disease or disorder begins with the mind, and not the body. 

How can your mind help you? How can you help your mind help you? And how can your mind help your prognosis, healing, and rejuvenation? 

First of all, admit that any disease or disorder you may now have does not result from a single causal factor. At this point in time, do not strive to find out what might have caused it. Instead, use your mind to eliminate all potential disease-contributing factors. 

Mental awareness 

To enhance your mind power, you must develop and sharpen your mental awareness. What is mental awareness? 

Other than manifesting its intentions, the mind also expresses its power as mental awareness, which is acute attention of the mind and the body. Most of us do not really pay much attention to the body—except when we are experiencing physical pain—let alone pay much attention to the mind. But mental awareness is important to longevity living because the mind and the body are interconnected. 

Mental awareness is essentially body consciousness or mental attention to the physical conditions and the needs of the body in relation to how the mind thinks. Mental awareness holds the key to both physical and mental wellness of an individual. The brain and the body are interconnected. The body is created to support the mind. Your thoughts affect your body sensations. For example, if you are kissing someone you love, it is more than a physical sensation: your mind becomes elated, and your soul rejoices as well. 

Accordingly, sharpen your mind power to enhance your awareness of your body first. If you feel that your body, mind, and soul are not connected, most probably you lack body awareness by your mind in the first place. Indeed, many people are not really paying conscious attention to their bodies at all times. To illustrate, how often we look at something without seeing it at all because our minds are somewhere else. When the mind is not paying its full attention, the body becomes incapacitated; when the body becomes fully conscious, the mental capacity becomes sharpened. It is just that simple. 

Body awareness is simply paying full attention to what your body is doing at that present moment. In other words, be conscious of what your body is doing when you are eating, walking, or doing just about anything. Unfortunately, at most times, our minds are distracted by past thoughts and projections of those thoughts into the future; rarely, do we focus our minds on the present moment. If you are more aware of your body, you will learn to breathe better (that is, breathing with your diaphragm with longer exhalation than inhalation), to have a better posture, and to slow down. Mental awareness brings about a healthy mind, which plays a pivotal role in longevity living.  

Stephen Lau 
 Copyright© by Stephen Lau

 

Healthy

Believing in Yourself Is Mind Power

Believing in yourself is self-efficacy. Believing in yourself is confidence in your own ability, knowing what you have to do to win or simply to get what you want in life.

Diane Sawyer once said: “Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it.” 

Believing in yourself is one of the first steps to success in doing anything that becomes the very substance of your confidence. To have confidence, you must set goals, and achieving your goals helps you build more confidence.

The only stumbling block to believing in yourself is your inability to achieve: some of your goals at some points in your life. This stumbling block may create negativity in the form of victimization. In other words, you may find you are a victim of circumstances; this may also lead to bitterness, despair, or even anger.

One of the reasons why sometimes you don’t have self-efficacy is your past. You could have been haunted by your past failures that generated regrets, bitterness, and disappointments that you have not been able to let go of. Attachment to the past is always a stumbling block to moving ahead.

The Wisdom of Letting Go

The wisdom of letting go shows you how to use the ancient Tao wisdom from China to live in the present moment, and, more importantly, to let go of the past. With both  human wisdom and spiritual wisdom from the Bible, you may start believing in yourself again. With self-efficacy, you can do anything at any stage of your life, and the sky is the limit. 

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

A Better Brain and Memory

Do you want to have a better brain and memory even as you age? If yes, then don't let your mind slip!

The human brain has great potential—even for those for who have dementia or memory problems. Your have fully utilized only a fraction of what the human mind is capable of. Therefore, it is never too late to harness the untapped potential of your mind. Don't let your mind slip!

Years ago, Richard Welch, scientist and researcher, developed a reading speed program, and in the process of research and development also discovered an amazing scientific program called Mental Photography. His amazing scientific proven phenomenon can help you harness 98 percent of your untapped brain.

How does Mental Photography work?

Richard Welch’s state-of-the-art system trains your subconscious mind so your memory becomes razor sharp. According to his groundbreaking research, if you have acquired the ability to absorb information speedily, you can then effectively store the information in your long-term memory. No only that, you can store every single word in your long-term memory for life, such that you will never forget it and you can always retrieve it at your will.

But how do you remember it in the first place?

A razor sharp memory requires concentration and focus. Richard Welch uses Albert Einstein’s “Distraction Index” which is a simple but extremely effective exercise that gives you 100 percent laser targeted focus and concentration. He shows step-by-step how you can spend 10 minutes a day just to maintain what you have stored in your long-term memory. You will be able to retrieve the information at any time, and automatically remember things that were once forgotten. Isn’t that remarkable?

Senior moments are common among seniors. But it does not have to be like that. A better brain with a powerful memory and targeted focus will give you an edge in every aspect of life, even as you continue to age. Mental Photography can effectively reduce the amount of sleep you need and make you wake up feeling great with more energy and enthusiasm than ever before. Help your brain remember the things you wish to remember. Do not let your mind slip. Brain health holds the key to longevity health.

For more information on how to build a better brain, go to ZOX Mind Training System.

Stephen Lau

Copyright © by Stephen Lau

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Dealing with Anger

Dealing with Anger

Anger or rage is an ineffective and inefficient way to resolve any daily issue or make any problem go away. It is a negative emotion that may lead to depression, if it is not properly addressed. According to scientific studies, strong negative emotions, such as anger, can create destructive mental energy that is health damaging.

So, how do you take care of your negative emotions?

Conventional wisdom is to use distraction to defuse and dissipate the sudden anger or rage.

Thomas Jefferson famously said, “When angry, count 10, before you speak; if very angry, 100.” 

According to Lao Tzu, the ancient sage from China, whose profound wisdom is known as TAO, we should do the following when we are angry:

Take a deep breath, review the situation, and ask yourself one simple question: why are you here in this situation?

Don’t hold your anger in; instead, let it go, by breathing it out. Don’t let it go as pain; instead, let it go as your acceptance. Don’t let your acceptance be viewed as a sign of your own weakness; instead, let it be a statement of your own communication to yourself that getting angry will not resolve the situation.

Remember, anger is always present to serve a purpose to release some deeper issues, problems, and internal conflicts that you may be carrying in your own bag and baggage all these years. It is always better to release anger than to turn it around to destroy yourself. Suppressing anger, on the other hand, is also self-destructive, as the negative energy redirects itself back into your own body. Anger in itself is always a path of destruction no matter what. Resolve anger by developing habits that may release internal conflicts in a constructive manner before it can be released as rage.

Remember, the world always reflects your actions. If you lash out in rage, then the world lashes back at you with that same rage causing pain or grief that still has to get resolved. There is no true “release” of anger, except by resolution.

TAO teaches that peace is the true warrior’s path. The sword while an option is never used with anger, or you may have lost from the start. According to Lao Tzu, “The best fighter is never becoming angry.”

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Why Letting Go of Attachments in Life

Why Letting Go of Attachments in Life

The dark side of attachments

Desire

Attachments create desire, and desire generates an expectation. To guarantee the fulfillment of the expectation, the mind has to make choices—not so much the choices between doing what is right and what is wrong, as the choices between doing what can and cannot repeat the past success, as well as what can and cannot avoid the future failure. In the process of making these difficult choices, the mind may becomes unduly stressed, leading to anxiety, frustration, and disappointment. Human desire is the root cause of all human woes.

“There is no greater sin than desire,

No greater curse than discontent,

No greater misfortune than wanting something for oneself.

Therefore he who knows that enough is enough

 will always have enough.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 46)

Control

Control is the byproduct of attachments, a tool used by the mind to perpetuate the attachments.

“The world is ruled by letting things take their course.
It cannot be ruled by interfering.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 48)

Most of us are controlling to a greater or less extent. We, as parents, control our children’s destiny by striving to steer them clear of the wrong path we had previously treaded ourselves.

Our culture tells us that we should be in control of everything around us at all times; controlling, to many, is synonymous with independence.

But controlling is not Tao because it is an unnatural way of running away from everyday problems, instead of embracing them. Controlling is a direct or subtle way of exerting influence over others so that we may have power over the turn of events in our lives. In other words, we delusively think we can make things happen the way we want them to happen in our lives through control and manipulation of others. Of course, it is only a wishful thinking that we can have total control of what happens in our lives.

Indisputably, life is forever changing, whether we like it or not. Just learn to accept the fact that we are sometimes helpless to stop an unwelcome change in our lives. Paradoxically, accepting that unwelcome change may surprisingly bring us peace of mind. Unfortunately, many of us simply choose to avoid it by controlling people who, we think, may either cause or avert that unwelcome change. Control stems from fear and worry, which are projections of the mind into the future, and which are the major factors of stress.

How often we control our children, our parents, our friends, and our co-workers without being aware of our control.

To let go of control requires courage. Mark Twain once said humorously about the cure for insomnia: “Try lying on the edge of the bed, then you might drop off.” Indeed, to go to sleep, you must have the courage to let go of your thoughts before you can fall asleep—just like letting go of the fear when lying on the edge of the bed.

“. . . sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.” Edwar Albee

The bright side of non-attachment

Spontaneity instead of choices

But, with the wisdom of Tao, life does not have to be filled with difficult choices and anxious expectations. Spontaneity is the solution, the secret to the art of living well: letting nature run its natural course.

”Empty yourself of everything.
Let your mind rest at peace.
Watch the workings of all of creation,

and contemplate their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source.
Returning to the source is stillness,

which is the way of nature.
The way of nature is unchanging.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 16)

Spontaneity is similar to what is said in the Bible: “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 26: 26)

Do not over-worry because things do not turn out the way you think they should.

”That which shrinks

Must first expand.

That which fails,

Must first be strong.

That which is cast down

Must first be raised.

Before receiving, there must be giving.

This is called perception of the nature of things.

Soft and weak overcome hard and strong.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 36)

Stephen Lau

Copyright©by Stephen Lau